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By Valerie Rains
Published October 09, 2011

A few things might wake you up in the middle of the night the first time you climb under the covers inside an RV. Fearing that you forgot to engage the parking brake and are in danger of rolling down the hill to your death, for one. (You did, and you are.) Thinking someone left the light on in the bathroom and wondering whether that will drain the RV’s battery by morning. (They did, but it didn’t.) Hearing campers breaking the sacred “quiet after 9 p.m.” rule and imagining they’ll get busted. (They did.) Wondering if the bacon and eggs you bought for tomorrow morning’s breakfast are now, effectively, toast, because you’d been told that the fridge will mysteriously stop working if the RV is parked on even the slightest incline. (They are.)

Funny, I’d spent half my life dreaming about setting off in an RV for parts unknown and maintaining perfectly level appliances never once figured into the fantasy. To me, RVing was simply the ultimate escape route. Maybe that’s because my early family vacations revolved around campgrounds and car trips. Or maybe because buying an RV is the landlocked states’ version of saving up for a sailboat.It’s a vacation home wherever you want it, whenever you want it. It’s freedom and security in equal measure. It’s Lewis and Clark with a V-8 engine.

To quell the panic, I studied online forums for RV enthusiasts, campground-review sites, and the orientation video on the RV-rental website (twice). And I brought backup: Lindsay and Lola, a couple of friends I’ve known since college who have a generous way of seeing disasters as adventures. They tried to distract me by focusing on our packing priorities: hiking gear vs. lawn games, SPF 15 or 30. Not that it helped.

• ROAD-TESTED TIP #1: “Use an RV-specific route planner on a GPS. It’ll factor in overhead clearance and other restrictions, such as which roads, bridges, and tunnels won’t allow propane tanks through.” –Richard Coon, President, Recreational Vehicle Industry Association

And yet, when we arrived at the Cruise America rental lot in Durham, N.C., I started to calm down, in part because a petite 20-something gal handed me the keys, and I figured that if she could pilot a big rig, then maybe I could, too. We got a few simple pointers from the RV folks: Pull far into intersections before making a turn. Leave lots of room for braking. Always use a spotter when you back up. Drive-through restaurants are just not worth the risk.

We learned when to use battery power, propane, shoreline electricity, and our generator; how to restart a dead battery; the necessity of turning off the propane tank before refueling; how to heat water for showers and how to tell when the water supply is nearly depleted; and how to level out the rig with a pair of two-by-four boards if our campsite is on a slant.

And we learned the finer points of emptying the holding tanks–a polite way of saying draining the toilet–a task that quickly supplanted merging onto the highway as my most dreaded challenge.

“Once you get the hose screwed on–and make sure you screw it on really tight–then open the valves and walk away,” said Tommy, our orientation instructor. “Or run. I’ve gotten wet feet more times than I like to recall.”

The girls and I made a pact to use the campgrounds’ rest areas whenever possible and added latex gloves to the top of our shopping list. Then we took a few trial spins around the parking lot, and with Lindsay in the navigator’s seat and Lola on loose-objects duty in the back, we headed into the great wide open.

First came the rattle. With every bump in the road, each cup, dish, and saucepan in our kitchen cabinets shuddered like a beat-up shopping cart being pushed down a gravel road. (I learned later that putting paper towels between the plates helps immensely.)

Then came the thuds. Turn left, and one set of drawers would slide open with a thwak. Turn right, and another drawer would do the same. We were already learning that RV trips are all-hands-on-deck endeavors.

In addition to navigating, Lindsay was my second set of eyes for lane changes and would become my second-in-command for ticking off setup and breakdown duties. Lola wrangled drawers and cabinets, stood lookout at the rear window for minor back-up missions, and became galley chef for the length of the trip.

“This is like a ropes course,” Lindsay said after our first refueling stop, with its propane-off, propane-on, secure-all-items drill. “Maybe we should do some trust falls at the beach.”

Six hours, three pit stops, and one possible bird collision (none of us wanted to check the grille for confirmation) later, we arrived at Frisco Campground, one of four in the area run by the National Park Service. We had just enough time to practice back-in parking before nightfall. That’s when I realized my first RV mistake: Anywhere we wanted to go, we’d have to take the RV, repositioning it each time we returned. (The pros either bring bikes or tow a regular car–often referred to as a dinghy–behind the RV.)

So we strapped ourselves back in to fetch dinner in Hatteras Village, five miles away, and performed the parking routine again an hour later–this time in the dark, with the girls wielding flashlights like traffic batons.

• ROAD-TESTED TIP #2: “We try to bring or rent bicycles to visit nearby areas while camping. It beats packing up the RV to move it to a trailhead for hiking, only to find out there is no room to park a larger vehicle! Many times, you can access a ‘bikes only’ trail or (at theGrand Canyon, for example) trails for shuttle buses and bikes only.” –Debby Schlesinger, BT reader, Grenada Hills, Calif.

To celebrate–not just the parking but surviving the first day–we split a bottle of convenience-store wine around the RV’s dinette, the only spot where all three of us could sit facing each other.

“I’ve had worse apartments than this,” I said, looking around. “Definitely worse kitchens.”

The furnishings were surprisingly modern–navy fabric upholstery and matching window coverings, new-looking appliances and cabinets. And even though I assumed we’d overpacked, there was plenty of unused storage space in the RV’s dozen cabinets.

More impressive to me was the fact that I could walk around the whole cabin standing at full height, without crouching or hitting my head on anything. That was, until bedtime.

I called the bunk over the cab–possibly an unconscious compulsion to stay near the driver’s seat. Maneuvering my limbs into the crawl-space-size cubby guaranteed a bumped elbow, knee, or forehead with every entrance and exit. The girls shared the double bed in back, since converting the dinette to a third bed would have required clearing the piles of maps, snack-food containers, and bug repellent cans that had already accumulated on the tabletop. Calling out our good nights and cracking jokes in the dark, it was the closest thing to an adult sleepover I could imagine–more intimate than sharing a hotel room, and sillier, too.

See more on glamping (it’s short for glamorous camping)

Seeing the Frisco campground in daylight–just after sunrise, in fact, thanks to the chatter of the campground’s early risers–provided a fresh perspective after that fitful first night’s sleep.

Orchestrating our morning routines was easier than I’d thought. The toilet and the shower–one of those flimsy jobs with a handheld sprayer that tumbles readily from its mount–were bundled in one closet-size room, about four feet by four feet, tops. (Its door was inches away from where Lindsay and Lola slept, another reason to make sparing use of its facilities.) Still, the teensy bathroom sink was just outside the shower/toilet stall; at the slightly larger kitchen sink a few feet away, two people could brush their teeth simultaneously.

Lindsay was the first one out, conferring with the park ranger and plotting the day’s activities (hit the beach, visit a lighthouse, find lunch). The ocean’s proximity redeemed the transportation issue. After all, who needs a car when you can walk to the beach?

The geography of the Outer Banks–a 130-mile stretch of narrow barrier islands, less than a mile wide for much if its length–was the primary reason I’d chosen this spot for my trial run.

There are 20-plus campgrounds along the strip, none much more than a mile away from the Atlantic Ocean or Pamlico Sound. At Frisco, $20 a night buys you peace, quiet, and your own little slice of unlandscaped beachfront real estate. What that $20 doesn’t buy you: heated campground showers or any way to charge a cell phone. Hence, one night would be our limit.

• ROAD-TESTED TIP #3: “If you’re exhausted and not near a campground, Walmart stores sometimes allow campers to use their parking lots. Just check to make sure there’s not a no overnight parking sign, and choose a spot near one of the lot’s outer edges.”–Kevin Broom, Director of Media Relations, Recreational Vehicle Industry Association

The 30 miles of road between Frisco and Rodanthe, where we’d camp next, passes through a series of near-identical hamlets with dreamy names: Avon, Salvo, Waves. The longer we drove, the less I worried about all the folks in my rearview mirror who clearly wanted to pass me on the two-lane highway. Rolling down the windows and turning on the radio helped distract me. So did focusing on our next stop, an oasis where water and electricity flow freely and quiet hours don’t start until a wild-and-crazy 10 p.m.

As much as I’d been obsessing about life inside an RV, pulling into the Cape Hatteras KOA was a revelation. Here, everyone was living outside their vehicles. All around us, colorful awnings, canvas camp chairs, outdoor carpets, wind chimes, string lights shaped like Airstream trailers, plastic gingham tablecloths, tiki torches, and dream catchers marked off each site’s would-be front lawn. We envied our neighbors, a retired duo from Farmville, N.C., for their old-school, beige-striped Winnebago (our RV was plastered with rental ads) and simple setup: an AstroTurf swatch just big enough for their two folding chairs and a small table.

• ROAD-TESTED TIP #4: “If you’re staying parked in one spot for a while, run the RV engine for a few minutes each day to recharge the battery.”–Tommy Summey, Cruise America rental agent, Hillsborough, N.C.

We’d brought nothing–and I mean nothing–to make the outside of our RV feel like home. Alas, the homiest thing we could muster was to try out the RV kitchen.

“Grilled cheese sandwiches, everybody?” Lola asked.

With no real counter space, she spread plates across the stovetop to prep the ingredients, then shifted the plates to a little sliver of awkward space behind the sink. As the stove (and, soon after, the RV) heated up, she had a change of heart.

“Cold cheese sandwiches, everybody?” she asked. The plan abandoned, we carried our sandwiches out to the nearest picnic table. And never turned on the stove again.

Having a place to spread out is crucial–especially when you’ve crammed a family of four or five into a usable living space the size of a large toolshed. But it would also be a shame to stay inside; an RV park is a voyeur’s paradise–people watching at its most reciprocal.

Several times, I passed a man with a white ponytail sitting shirtless outside his RV, shelling peas. He asked how I was doing, and when I replied in kind, he said, “I’m just making do, trying to enjoy myself…it’s not too difficult.” He didn’t need to wink–but I think he did anyway.

Our favorite acquaintance at the camp was Kilo, a nervous but friendly tan-and-white Chihuahua that accompanied John, a KOA staffer, on all his rounds–showing new arrivals to their sites and helping campers set up. (The explanation for his name? “He’s from Mexico.” Roger that.)

Judging from all the group activities at the campground, it’s safe to say that RVers are very social. Even those campers who’d rather spend their afternoons at the beach–as we did, most days–have ample opportunity for mingling after sundown.

One evening, we caught the opening number at karaoke night–Cee Lo Green’s expletive-free radio hit “Forget You,” performed by a teenage staffer; the next, we watched an outdoor screening of Kung Fu Panda.

We even organized some social events of our own, enlisting a couple of 30-something Texan guys to help us start a fire to make s’mores.

Another snafu: not knowing the proper way to extinguish a fire when you’re done with dessert. We poured panfuls of water from our kitchen onto the flames, sending out smoke signals to the whole campground that we were clueless.

By the last day, we’d had more than our share of screwups, most easy enough to laugh off.

But there was one RV task I really couldn’t afford to botch. It was time for the Holding Tank.

Lindsay followed me outside to offer moral support–and to remind me to run. Fortunately, I didn’t get my feet wet, though I did leave a small trail of blue chemicals between our site’s dump station and the RV (and hoped no one would notice).

• ROAD-TESTED TIP #5: “Be sure to get a tutorial on how to empty the holding tanks. One time, we forgot to add chemicals to the black-water tank after emptying it–the smell was terrible, and we quickly learned our lesson.” –Laurie Huhndorf, BT reader, San Antonio

The payoff for that 5 a.m. waste disposal came when we finally hit the empty road pointing north toward Nags Head, the sky slowly brightening with each mile. The only other travelers out were sea birds and jackrabbits, and I’d long since stopped fretting over every lane change, left turn, or loose kitchen drawer rattling with dishes.

Even shutting off the propane at our last gas-station stop was second nature. Finally, just as we were leaving, I was getting the hang of it.

Next time, I may even get up the nerve to grill a cheese sandwich or two.